So Friday was the big day! My surgery was scheduled at 12:45, but that didn’t happen. Jim and I got there at our prescribed time of 10:45 (ish) and checked in. Funny, the woman that registered me is the same one that did so for my lumpectomy in ’09 and the bilateral mastectomy in October last year. It was all very ‘full circle’ and although she is a very nice lady, I’d rather not keep meeting her this way. We ended up sitting at registration for about 15-20 mins, talking about my surgeons and how we all liked them; what good people they were, showing her pics of me when I was bald and  Jim with his shaved  head, all the way to my billboard pic, that incidentally was taken down at the beginning of this year. I suppose three months of fame is enough.

Soon after we left registration to wait for my name to be called, my number was up. We went back to my preop room and I changed into my designer hospital gown and they got my IV started. Then about 30 minutes past show time, my anesthesiologist (Dr. Y) showed up. He told us that we weren’t ready to start yet b/c apparently, there was a much simpler case that was originally scheduled after me, but we’d been flipped so that my surgeon could get that outta the way and concentrate on me last. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or pissed. I finally decided to be flattered. Anyway, Dr. Y and I talked about the procedure and he said he remembered I was a ‘cheap drunk’, which is actually true. Should’ve asked him for a discount, since he didn’t have to use as much drugs on me as he normally would. Oh well…

By the time it was my turn, it was almost 4pm. My baby faced surgeon walks in and starts drawing on my chest with his little black sharpie. I told him I figured he’d saved the best for last (ha ha) and of course, he agreed. I also told him that the OR crew was not allowed to laugh at the fact that I had little sprouts of armpit hair d/t the fact that those damned expanders dug so deep into my flesh that I could only reach about 80% of  my pits. He then offered to have the crew shave them for me and of course, I said, ‘Yes’!  He left and then Dr. Y and one of the OR folks came to take me away (ho ho)…

Ya know, every time before I’ve gone under anesthesia, Dr. Y always says, ‘Think of a good dream’. And up until this surgery, I’ve never dreamt while I was under. This time, when he asked where I wanted to go, I said, ‘St. Petersberg, Florida b/c that’s where the Salvador Dali Museum is’. And whaddaya know, that’s exactly what I dreamt about. Love those ‘Flaming Giraffes’…

So, I wake up in recovery and it’s the first time I’m nauseous after a procedure. My brother said it’s b/c my stomach had been empty for so long. Anyway, I  ’sobered up’ pretty fast and within about half an hour of waking up, I was dressed and being wheeled out to the car. My in-laws joined Jim at the hospital, but I didn’t get to see them until we got home. They were super sweet and filled my pain meds for me. Unfortunately, my mutant body does not respond to them. Throughout my experiences of surgical procedures and prescribed pain meds, my body scoffs at them. A normal person would take Vicodin or Tylenol #3 with codeine and feel freakin’ sweet. Not me; no effect whatsoever. And trust me, I’ve tried a veritable cornucopia of pain meds. ‘She no worky, she sick today, she off’….. Oh well….

So I didn’t get to eat anything all day until about 8pm Friday night; beef broth and an english muffin w/raspberry preserves. I was stuffed. Got into bed and I couldn’t believe it, but number one, my armpits were shaved and number two…..I could actually sleep on my side without those freakin’ ridiculous expanders digging into my torso!!  This probably sounds silly, but I was so happy, I cried.

So now it’s been a couple of days. Not too bad, except the whole turning over in bed, getting up out of bed, reaching  and turning to get things. Feels kinda like the flesh is being ripped off of me at my incision sites. I know that sounds melodramatic, but that’s what it feels like.   Ah, this too shall pass. And besides, I’ve had a whole hell of lot worse than this. This is a total piece of triple chocolate cake compared to everything else I’ve been through. Not that I’m looking to trump any of my previous experiences….

So far, the girls look pretty good. Once the swelling goes down, I’ll get a better feel for what they’re gonna look like. My post op visit is on Wednesday and I will go back to work on February 7th. After this, the plan is to close the book on the boobs and I’m not allowed to have anymore drama. Besides, I’d rather be getting attention for other reasons than being the friend that has cancer….